Homophobia

I saw this on a friend's facebook and thought it was a good illustration of viewing homophobia from another angle.



He's right, though. It seems a bit ridiculous to imagine the world when homosexuals are the majority since it would throw off population dynamics, growth, etc. But, if you do, then the prejudice against gays hits closer to home. I feel that, while we do not live in a world where homophobia is necessarily encouraged, it's rather ingrained in people's minds and needs to be overcome. I think it stems from two reasons: religion, of course, and its general unfamiliarity with the hoi polloi. In the beginning, though, since religion is always influenced by man (whether it is true or not), I think its unfamiliarity triggered homophobia in many faiths.

Most homosexuals were raised in a heterosexual home since that's the basic way to procreate. So, both orientations are not foreign to us once we reconcile our feelings with reality. I do see where it is a foreign idea to individuals growing up in a "straight" home with no exposure to homosexuality and how it can be such a strange concept. However, much of the fault lies with the parents for not raising that awareness.

It is natural for a person to fear what he does not understand. Were it not, there would be many more entrants to the Darwin Awards. I think a very effective way to cure homophobia is to start young in the home or school and lessen the expectations of a child to feel attractions only for the opposite sex. I'm not saying get rid of prom king and queen, but just predent the idea that there is not only one way to live.

The death of Matthew Shepherd, mentioned in the above video, is absolutely awful. I wonder what drove the assailant to do that, though. Where did he learn to hate so much? Is it really hate, or is it actually fear? Honestly, I think that his hate for gays grew out of his inability to understand it, and that frustrated him to no end. I'm sure his home was closed-minded to other ideas outside of the white picket fence and happy heterosexual family. That makes me so sad.

In my opinion, the true source of homophobia or any hate for gays is the initial fear because it was never understood. Even though I am homosexual, I was afraid of it myself and then hated myself for it. I overcame that hate because I came to an understanding of what it is and that it is not necessarily wrong. When one person is no longer homophobic, he is no longer ignorant of what is happening with others. That is a great thing.

It is a terrible thing that some organizations can push people back into the homophobic mindset. Religion can certainly be one of those things if it, also, is misunderstood. I can think of quite a few individuals that were once welcoming to homosexuals, joined a church, began to fear because of the church's teachings of the consequences, and later went on to hate it again. It's interesting, how that was reversed.

To Be in Love with Love

I've been reading a few blogs about a guy seeking out love. As in, he wants love. I definitely am not one of those people; I will take it when it come, but until then I'm fine.

I think being in love with love is a bit unhealthy. It causes a person to wear his heart on his sleeve for anyone to take it. When that happens, awful relationships are more probable. I think this because the person won't evaluate who his interest is, rather he'll evaluate only how much his interest is attracted back.

This is very prevalent in homosexual relationships. A guy will want a boyfriend so bad but only to have a boyfriend. Not a relationship. Sure, it's nice to have someone there; however, it's better if that person wants to be there as much as you do. Homosexual relationships are generally short-lived anyway. It's a general characteristic of them, at least until a guy has matured enough to handle long-term committment and loyalty. Or just becomes good at hiding his cheating, but anyway.

I know I am too young for that sort of long-term committment. I think guys take much more time to achieve any sort of maturity level that is ready for "love." So my general advice is fall out of love with love. Love a person, not a condition. Don't seek it out, let that person come to you. Realize that you are in love, do not conjure it.

Naïveté Is the Opposite of Wisdom

I was thinking about what the difference is between someone who is naïve and another who is mature. Certainly, the mature person has experienced more than the naïve, but what exactly was it that caused the innocent person to act differently from the experienced? Elders (not church-related; rather, I mean people who are older) are wiser than youth, and it is because they have experienced life already. Elders are experienced, wise, and mature; youth tend to be (but definitely not always) naïve, immature, etc. Yet, a younger person certainly can be smarter than someone older than he. So it must be, the difference between the mature and immature is the amount of wisdom they wield.

Wisdom, to me, is the ability to make good decisions based on experience or what is known. Naïve people generally cannot make good decisions because they are unaware or do not know enough of the world. Street-smarts is a term that could be related here rather than book-smarts. Wise people know enough of the world to understand what makes it turn and why things are the way they are. I feel that the naïve are that way because they are idealistic and hopeful, stemming from not experiencing the world or other ideas enough. Hope is not wrong, but in an idealistic sense it can be unreal. I have plenty of hope, but I do what it to be realistic.

I used to think that wisdom was the opposite of ignorance or stupidity. However, I feel that one can be exceedingly smart while unwise and naïve. Wisdom extends beyond science and math to being able to examine the human condition through personal experience and understanding of others. It utilizes that knowledge to act in a manner that promotes realism.

I suppose one could argue that "Inexperience is the opposide of wisdom," but for some reason the word "naïve" has the conotation that I am looking for. It is not negative, just a condition.

And at this point I have lost my train of thought. I hope that entry made sense to you, and if I come back when I am not excessively tired then I will edit this to make more sense.

This Is Why I Accepted My Homosexuality

My friend linked me to this site. It is the work of a photographer that takes pictures of a person just before he or she is about to die, and afterwards. It's very interesting, and the comments on the side are often profound. And so I wanted to write this.

These people in his work told very dynamic stories about whether or not they wanted to die, how their life had been, etc. Some realized that they only wanted to live after they became terminally ill, others embraces death as just another part of the process. I wonder what I would say about my life if I were one of the subjects.

Well, I would like to say that life was great to me and every part was a blessing. I want a happy life, and I know I can make one for myself. But until I was 17, I was struggling with trying to change my sexuality. I was unhappy because I felt that God, who created me and how I am, would be disgusted if I acted on my feelings. It was not part of the plan for Eternal Happiness, so if I gave up this life to misery then maybe I'd be happy for the rest of my existance.

Then I broke, and I couldn't handle the struggle anymore. I acted on my feelings for the first time by kissing another boy. I felt liberated. I felt a rush of happiness come over me. I was wary, though, because afterwards I felt shameful for going back on God. But then I realized during a time of internal thought battles I had with myself, God gave me feelings to be happy and to grow. Homosexuality is based in emotion and love just as heterosexuality is, and He gave me this gift. He gave it to me as a tool for happiness and growth in my life, and I am grateful for it.

I choose to live a happy life. I will not surpress love and emotion until I am dead because there is no sense in it. The Creator did not intend to afflict me so I would be miserable for life; he gave this to me to open my eyes, mind, and heart to a fuller life. It is a gift so I would discover myself, help others to do the same, and be happy. Had I been heterosexual, I would be completely different.

If I ever became a subject in this artist's work, I will be able to tell him that life was amazing to me, and my only regret is that I will not be able to experience more. I experienced every emotion my heart can feel, and I discovered happiness can come from accepting those emotions and surpressing none. Doing so would be to deny ourselves what is necessary and good.

I accepted my homosexuality because I want a happy life. There is nothing wrong with that.

Recent Feelings on Religion

Yesterday I read that Islam surpasses Catholicism as the largest religion in the world. Christians, however, still outnumber Muslims if all the different denominations are counted together. Not sure if the objective counter included Mormonism, but it's really not an issue.

I am enrolled in a Survey of World Religions class currently. Last semester the only religion class I took was Book of Mormon first half honors (and it was for RMS, but not labelled, so half of us didn't know); I also was taking general psychology and learning about evolutionary effects on behavior and life processes. I started swinging toward a more atheistic attitude because Mormonism does not really cut it for me and other religions had issues too. The theory of evolution made, and still does make, complete sense to me without being far-fetched. It is based in reason, evidence, and science.

This semester, however, I find myself attracted to religion and spirituality again. As I sat in class and took notes on a religion, I initially wondered what it was that caused these people to go out and preach that they are inspired, enlightened, or know the way to Heaven. They started religions that major players in the world today, but where they schizophrenic? And Hinduism, was it just a culture of people needing to believe in something or did the Rishis really scribe the vibrations of the universe to produce the Vedas?

Then, an idea struck me. Maybe they did hear the vibrations of the universe. Perhaps Mahavira really was a tirthankara to bring the path to enlightenment back to earth. Gabriel could have appeared to Muhammad, Siddhartha Gautama really was enlightened and the Buddha, Guru Nanak really was swept into the presence of God. And in my opinion, each of these histories are even more believable and sensible than God and Jesus Christ appearing to a fourteen-year-old boy in the Sacred Grove, Joseph Smith. Someone who can believe that certainly can believe Lao Tzu's discussion of the Tao.

So, I am coming to a tentative conclusion that all religions contain truth. All of these prophets, messengers, etc. teach a way of self-improvement and post-life happiness through works. Each has its own way of practicing, but the end goal is rather similar. Differences in doctrine do exist, such as Hinduism's way of reuniting with Brahman and becoming one with everything differing from Christianity's desire to return to the presence of God for eternity, but the ideas are similar in an abstract way. Basically, become a better person in order to reach a better outcome.

This is why I am intrigued by Baha'i, a recent movement that seeks to bring together all faith traditions to worship the Creator. Baha'i is interested in the unity of humankind.

But nonetheless, most religions have parallels to each other. Sitting in class, I am always eager to hear of another one, such as Islam's Hajj (once-a-lifetime pilgrimmage to Mecca) and Mormonism's endowment ceremony. Analyzing the Hajj makes one really see the complements of each religion.

Anyway, my recent idea on religion is to study them all and adhere to the basic principles of each. Become a better person, prayer to God, help the needy, etc.

I used to be disgusted by religion because of the conflict of Mormonism and homosexuality. Any religion at all, but especially Christianity. I wanted to believe it was true, but if I did, then I couldn't believe myself to be true. I am glad that I have found a renewed interest in religion.

I am glad I am homosexual. It has open my mind in ways that would never have occurred had I easily fit the mold of the Church. Now, I have much greater and mroe numberous perspectives on how to live my life.

An Individual

The word I feel that best describes me is individual. I am not a label, and individual is the best summary of that idea. It implies that there is much more under surface, behind the eyes.

We all are this way, too. I find it sad that some will let just one aspect shadow over every aspect of their character. Atheist, conservative, political, homosexual, anything really. Why focus our development on one adjective when certainly there is more to a person.

I am an artist, a pianist, an academic, a dancer, a fun-lover, a fighter. I am politically charged, introspective, friendly, outspoken, tactful, understanding, and empathetic. I open my mind, I defend my ideas, and I accept others. I am spiritual, agnostic, and homosexual.

Had I defined myself as only one of those things or stood under the label of just one, shadow would cover the rest. We are all individuals; we all stand for something.

I am not like you. You are not like anyone else. I don't want to be like you, and I don't want you to be like me. Minds were not created in a cookie cut. Had the Creator intended that, he would not have bothered creating complex indentities.

I refuse to perscribe to any school of thought that we are all the same, nor any idea that anyone is superior or inferior to others. We are different, but we are equal.